Exploring Medellín

My first stop in Colombia was Medellin, where I hung out with a fellow FMFer. James and I had a lot of long conversations about the methodology of Sherlock Holmes in the workplace and in life, physical therapy and movement, and his experience with the FMF retreat. We spent a day out in the city, where we hiked up to the city viewpoint and they had a beautiful butterfly sanctuary up top. Navigating through these city streets down the alleys of vehicle repair factories was no joke and I was just glad that I didn’t have to do it alone. We then visited the Museum of Water Science and learned more about the efforts of EPM (Empresas Públicas de Medellín). On the last night here, we met up with Nate (co-founder of Fight Move Flow) to go out social dancing–what an awesome night of taking Aguardiente shots the Colombian way and dancing to the beats of Bachata.

The most challenging part of this was trusting myself and my feet, to jump from one rock and land on another rock with precision. I was glad that I eventually did some of those river rock precision jumps, even though it took me some time anticipating. I was practicing being patient and kind to myself. My favorite part though was the community aspect of the retreat, where everyone celebrated each other and helped each other without judgement. In this I learned to trust in myself as well as community.

Fight: Gracie Jiu Jitsu

Out of the 3 elements (Fight, Move, and Flow), Fight was definitely my weakness, but it was also what appealed to me the most about this retreat. I’ve always wanted to master a martial arts, but I was unsure which style to choose and fighting seemed like an intimidating activity. I’ve tried a bit of capoeira, taiji, krav maga, and just got introduced to BJJ. BJJ felt like my style the most and its teachings/philosophy also applied to my way of life. Nate was absolutely amazing at teaching BJJ and made me realize that it wasn’t all that scary after all. It’s actually a great way to build self confidence—something that I’ve been focused on this year. These are three things that he shared, which I took notes of:

• Soft. Silent. Safe.

• Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

• The right move at the wrong time is the wrong move.

Move: Trust in Yourself and Community

For the Move portion of the retreat, we warmed up with natural/animal movements and Chi’s taichi workshops in the mornings. This reminded me of the 4:00AM mornings that I’ve spent on the mountain monastery practicing taichi in the clouds (literally). Just flowing like water…

Before we moved into the river, we practiced some precision jumps and assistance/rescue techniques in a dry, safe environment. I appreciated that we did the prep work to get to know our own abilities and confidence in these areas because this can look vastly different for each individual (there’s no competition).

We hiked through the jungle and crossed the river barefoot. I felt free and fully grounded to Mother Earth. Suddenly, I forgot about the insecurities with my body that I’ve held onto for many years. I was always insecure about my tummy fat, feet shape, and “disproportional body” (as some guys have expressed to me before). All I felt was the present. I was breathing and watching my every step consciously, my limbs on three to four points of contacts at all times. Not being afraid of nature, just me being.. In it. Part of it. With it. I did have one bad slip and numerous mosquito/chigger bites, but it was all worthwhile.

Flow: Permission to Play

Allison led a handful of fun games for us to play, and I loved that she said “I’m here to give you permission to play [as adults]”. The most memorable game was the blindfolded bat and moth chasing game in a circle. When you close your eyes off and lose sight, suddenly all other senses come to surface with more focus.

I thought it was perfect that when I was the blindfolded bat that James was the chosen moth because he enjoyed added an extra layer of challenge to this. Instead of using a calling sound, he decided with a finger snapping sound. I stayed in stillness for a little bit to track the snapping patterns along with his feet movement. I know exactly what he’s trying to do because we spoke about the art of Holmes earlier.

Outside of this retreat and these games, I’d often close my eyes whenever I wanted to listen to something or someone deeper. So this was something that felt “at home” to me. Feeling the vibrations, feeling the energy, and hearing every detail in isolation.

“Buscando Sueños Perdidos” by Mandy Mei

¿Dondé está mi sueño perdido?
Pregunto al universo, a las estrellitas
En el bosque, en el río, en las rocas,
Y abajo del cielo de la noche

Llorando el cielo, con energía del trueno alto,
La formación de su cara roja
Dice, “Lentamente, suavecito, y con silencio”,
Sus parabras como dulces

Inclinado sobre la mesa de comedor,
Donde no vemos a todos alrededo de nosostros
De poemas de amor a chocolates, a cafesitos,
Este sentimiento es como comida

Está sabrosita cuando lo existe en el momento,
Aceces agridulce en la despedida

The Amazon Jungle

Four hours of driving and boat rides later, I finally arrived at the Amazon rainforest. Mo and Liz from Nepal invited me to sit with them during mealtime and I was happy to share the electrolytes that I got from the FMF retreat. Our jungle outings and time on the river were intimate and spontaneous with our guide Francisco. I enjoyed our conversations about life, dreams, Mo’s passion for food and agriculture, hackathons, my renewable energy ideas for the Amazon, and the ongoing joke that everything here in the jungle is staged, lol! (Especially that one time a big iguana jumped off the tree into the river, making a huge splash that startled us.)

Humans of the Amazon: Legacies, Hopes, and Dreams..

Conclusion

I remember feeling all the bitter sweet emotions of leaving each place I made memories with and the people I connected with. Since I was little, I was used to constantly coming and going, and it came with a lot of goodbyes and tears. Long distance relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners. As I got older, I came to appreciate goodbyes in a way to celebrate impermanence and non-attachment (from the teachings of the Buddha).

I returned home refreshed, as if I had a sea salt scrubbing massage for my mind, body, and soul. My top takeaways, new habits, and important reminders:

• I will give myself permission to freely play, flow, and move as my body desires… continue to do the scary things! I do not have to fit into the “mold” of society. I just have to continue showing up as myself.

• I allow those who do not want to stay in my life to freely go. There’s no point of holding on to any of what’s not meant for me.

• It’s OK to say “No” - I started a list of all the instances that I successfully I said “No” to people/things. Practicing this new habit so that it can come naturally to me in time, guilt-free.

• I’ve always wanted to create something bigger than myself. I haven’t found what exactly it is yet, but the direction is becoming clearer in time with these beautiful experiences in life like that of the ones I just had in the jungle.